Home Improvement DIY: Princess Sparkle Throne

Every time I moved into a new place, my dad would always surprise me with a new toilet seat, and you wouldn’t believe the difference it makes! I’ve lived in my current house for over two years now and as I was cleaning the bowl the other day, realized that the toilet seat was seriously old and gross.

I found a cool new silver glitter seat at Bed Bath and Beyond, a seat only to rival the black toilet seat my dad found me when they wouldn’t let me paint the bathroom in their house black and affixed my can-do attitude. Change the seat, I will! I can do it, just loosen a couple of bolts and voila, I shall have a sparkle potty!

Here’s what the old toilet looked like, I tried to make it look better with the circa 1983 plush carpet seat cover. Gross. So gross. I can’t believe it took me this long to get rid of it the damn thing.

Exhibit A: Old toilet

After gathering my vice grips and Googling a few how-to videos on YouTube, I was ready.

I had no idea this seemingly simple project would be so unbelievably horrible. I located the bolts under the bowl and nylon nuts so old they were manufactured during the Ford Administration. Those nuts were my only option for removal, the top hinges didn’t have any place to use a screwdriver and after failing to get a good angle to use said vice grips, not to mention the nuts were corroded from nearly a century of God-knows-what. I swore. And then I regrouped. And I swore again.

Then I had a stroke of brilliance: I will melt those suckers off with a delicately-scented lavender candle and then hack them to bits with some needle-nose crafting pilers until they came off. (I also had the brilliant idea to use my Sephora VIB compact mirror on the floor to see up underneath without having to spoon the bowl.) After an hour of melting, hacking and more swearing, the damn things came loose and I lifted off the seat high above my head like I was a damn plumbing He-Man at the Castle Grayskull.

I’m not going to say this whole process wasn’t absolutely disgusting and that I wasn’t terrified I would contract Polio or Legionnaire’s Disease or Scurvy, but I did it. After delousing my hands and decontaminating the entire bathroom and floor, I took a picture of the gross bolts.

Exhibit B: The disgusting Satan bolts from the fiery pit of Hades.

I whipped out my awesome new toilet seat, unscrewed the new bolts, and had the whole thing installed in about two minutes. Old toilet seat removal time- 90 minutes, new toilet seat installation time- 90 seconds.

So here’s what the finished project looks like, a sparkle throne fit for Queen MacGyver!

Exhibit C: The queen’s sparkle throne.

Anyone have any good bathroom improvement DIYs to make the old floor look better?